Born As An Artist... Born With A Pencil In My Hand

"You are a born artist" and "You are a born cartoonist" are things I have heard a lot and really they are right when they say it is something with which you are born. There is a certain, natural love, pasion and  creativity that cannot be learned...

People in the family and their friends all make jokes about how I was practically born with a pencil in my hand and both mom and dad have even said "I don't think I can remember a time when you did't have a pencil in your hand" and "I don't think there ever was one".

When going through old pictures, looking for pictures of dad (there are tons) my mom found this picture, laughed and said once again, "Like I said... I can't remember a time when you didn't hae a pencil in your hand".

I am probably about 2 years old or so, with a pencil in my hand...and yes, that is a drawig book in my lap.

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If you haven't guessed already, I love nastalgia and nastalgic things... especially about my childhood, and mom and dad always have as well... the next post (or a post in the near future) will shed more light on that.

Bob...

Dad's wake was on wednesday and thursday and the funeral was Friday. I cried so much, it was the most emotional time I have ever experienced and am still experienceing. I bawled my eyes dry and it hasn't even hit me.

A LOT went on inbetween that time but I don't have time to write about any of it...

We had an Irish wake back at the house (in honor of dad) so almost everyone at the funral came over for a few drinks an a bit of a big ol' party. Dad was a huge party person, so it's what he would have wanted.

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R. I. P Uncle Bob

Marg i dad's sister, and her husband Bob (uncle Bob) has been battling caner for 6 years and he was put in Paliative care before Dad passed. He and dad were really close, so when he heard about dad, he got really really upst and he was especially upset that he couldn't make it out for the wake. Bob passed Sunday, just one week after Dad... One thing is for sure; I will never forget October 2011...

We say, and honestly beliee that Bob just anted to be with dad, and now he is. We have even made a few jokes about how dad would greet him "Hey, Bob! I wasn't expecting you, so soon, but I've got a bit a lambs (rum) on the go, and I've got one waiting for ya", and how they will have their few drinks and a good time like they always did.

On quick last note: Ms. Starkes, the art teacher who is moreof a close friend and metnor to me than a teachr, stopped by the funeral home with Ms. Gillis, my homeroom teacher. My math teacher stopped by as well which was really sweet, and also, my beloved English teacher who is also more like a friend than just a teacher, Ms. Heneghan dropped by as well, so I know I will have evryone's help and support when I finally go back to school.

That's it for now...

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Dad passed Sunday...

That's all i will really say about that. This is the hardest thing I will ever have to get through, so if I can get through this I can get through anything. We all bawled when it happened...

The one thing I keep in mind is that it is all for the best because he isn't suffering anymore. and he is in a much better place.

Tareasa, a friend of mom's and the family's spent the night Sunday and had a talk wit me... About how I had a special relationship with him that no one else (including my brother and even mom) had, and how it is especially hard for me... which it is.

Normally if I was going to or needed to talk to anyone about the whole cancer thing, I talked to dad himself, and dad confied in me. In fact I have always been that way with him. He even said to Tareasa that I was his best friend in the whole world.

(He did make that obvious to me as well fo those wondering)

She said the not only did he say I was his bstfriend but he also said that I was one of the most kind-hearted people he knew, and that I hada lot of empathy, and when she said that I added "which is rare" with surprise, and she nodded "It's very rare. He said it's like you put yoursel is his place and understood what he was saying and what he was going through... and you were the only one. He said that you would always put him before you and you were the one he could always go and talk to, confide in... and he did".

She also said that because of that, I was the one he was most worried about- for example, when he fell at her house because he was weak, he kept looking over at me because that was the one ting he was worried about, and he even told Tareasa that I was the one he worried about the most. Like I said, in everyway he and I were best friends.

Tareasa and I also talked abou what great of a man he was, and how words alone couldn't describe it. "He impacted a lot of people you know" she said as we were talking about all the friends he had... To be honest it was obvious that he did and you can tell by the amount of friends and kind of friends he has... The way people are reacting, and the amount and kind of friends and people who cared so much aout him that  he had say a lot about him. When I said that to Tareasa the one response I got was  "You're damn right it did".

"I hope I am lucky enough to end up being even half the man he was" I said, and then tareasa replied "You already are. You are and aways have been like your fathe in more ways than you can count, and you can count. You didn't think Anthony was the one who was like him did you?" We both laughed a bit at that one as she continued "Believe me you already are, and will continue to be. You are so much like him it's unbelievable. Trust me, so much of him lives on in you because you are just like him."

That is the biggest compliment anyone could ever have given me and the best one I ever have recieved by far. The best thing is that it must be true because she isn't the first to say it.

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Today is a bit of a weird day... I am getting a lot of  birthday wishes and condolences at the same time. I must be like my dad after all because the amount of friends (outside of the family) that have come out of the woodwork and said they are here for me are amazing. Thank god I have my family to help me through this. I am off now to get dress pants and a suit jacket and possible bithday shopping with my aunt.

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I love you dad and always will ♥ You were the greatest father anyone could ever imagine... At least you won't suffer any longer and you are in a better place. R.I.P dad. xo

Quick, brief update...

I don't post many REALLY personal things on this blog because I prefer to deal with certain things in a private, personal matter, and don't like the idea of broadcasting the full extent of my feelings and just what I am going through to everyone on the internet... because that's what family is for.

That's why I may SEEM almost emotion-less in some of the posts I write, and also why I haven't been writing much about my current situation.

Also it's a really hard subject to write about and I would rather not break down crying & bawling at my computer.

That being said, this post is just to give a quick update as to what is happening.

NOTE: I probably won't post anything about things my actual life/what I am doing for a pretty long while,but I will still post what I consider to be the bulk of my blog: random thoughts, art, and things I fin interesting and/or funny.

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On Wednesday I found out that the doctor said dad could and would survive the stroke, but he would never really recover.

Our options were:

Full time care- he would have someone to take care of him all the time, be in a weelchair, probably be fed through a tube, and he wouldn't be able to be at home, etc...

Comfort care- akmost the same, except he would be in the hospital (probably), with an IV and would be able to actually eat... and it would be more "comfortable"

Palliative care: He would be kept in the hospital, with all of his meds. Meds for pain, agitaion, etc, to make sure he isn't in too mch/any extreme pain and/or discomfort, and then just let "nature take it's course".

At the meeting mom, Dick and Marg had with the doctors, the decision was made to go with Palliative care.

As hard as it is, it is the best choice because he would not want to be alive like that, under the conditions of the other choices, plus (more imporantly) that isn't living, it's just existing. He wouldn't be able to really live, he would just exist.

Also, even if we were foolish enough to choose one of the other options, the cancer would have continued to get worse and would have taken over completely, and the battle would be over in 1.5-2 months at the very most.

Needless to sa this is the hardest thing I have experienced and the hardest thing I will ever experience... So I will obviously need time, so my posts will be there, but you may detect a certain "absence" in them.

I would like to end this post by taking not of how the truest way to detect the real value and measure of a man is by the people who love him, how much people love him, and the effect he had on others.

Many times in my life I hve noticed these things about my dad, and it seems that almost anyone who has met/known him- even in the smallest way- has absolutely cherished and loved him,his friendship, and everything about him, and so many people have been positively effected by him... The amount of people that have come to see him is phenominal... and that is nothing compared to the people who have been asking and been shocked, etc. Not nearly everyone even knows about the sudden turn things have taken because it happened so soon, we have only been able to tell so many.

He is/has always been the best dad anyone could ever imagine, as well as a kind-hearted and wonderful person in every way. It warms my heart to see that so many feel the same way.



Funny Picture I found on my Computer!

Note: LINK TO MY TUMBLR HERE! CHECK IT OUT

Adele so excited because of her new bike... Love this one!

Musical photos: Willy Wonka Gone Wild

Funny and "wild" behind the scenes photos.

Me being a naughty oopma looma ;)

Grannies Gone Wild...

Um... GRANDPA JOE?!

Willy Wonka Gettin' Down

Break Dancing Oopma Loompa!

Hope you like it

Enjoy! :)

Awesome Videos to Watch

Watch these videos! They are great!

First just a simple, funny one.

This is a video that depictwhat would have happened if the movie "E.T" was set in Newfoundland
Ha ha notice how "ice hockey" becomes "hice ockey" ha ha ha!

This 3rd one is more personally special to me. It is my Friend Jordon who has recently become a blogger and it would mean A LOT if you went out and gave him support! Subscribe, comment etc.

Here is the video of him ranting about homophobia... He is so funny, and silly as usual, but then he gets serious, then silly again HAHA!

Let me know wat you think!

Hoping and Praying...

This is a well serious and quick uptdate, so if I'm not on for the next while, you know why.

Long story short, my father who I love more than anything, and has been diagnosed with terminal lung cancer since august of last year had a stroke last night.

It came out of nowhere! He has doing fine all day, eeling fine, even feeling prtty damn good actually. Dick was over for a bit and hetalked to him, carried on with him etc. Later, friends of his and moms came over and he chatted and had a good time with them, and then out of nowhere it happned all of 15 minutes after they left.

Out of nowhere, his head went down and he suddenly wasn't coherent at all, and started drooling and leaning to one side. He was really really week, kept trying to stand up, wanting to go to the bathroom but he couldn't even stand so we had to mke sure he never got up. I was bawling and freaking out more or less, mom told me to run downstairs to get nan. While we were there with her, she quickly texted my brother, Athony to get home. The ambulance came and took him to the hospital roughly 15 minutes after it all started.

Mom rode with them up front, and Anthony, nan and I went in the rig. It ended up being the 4 f us along with, Dick, Marg, and 2 of mom's siblings, Joanne and Mike. Mom was in there with dad the whole time.

Of course, Dick who was supposed to go back tonight, cancelled his flights.

Without going into too much detail, long story short, the next 24-48 hours is a critical watch period, so all we can do is hope and pray for the best, and that he gets through this.

A picture of the piece of artwork that is nearest and dearest to my heart: A portrait I did of myself and dad. <3