October 2011 has been and will always be known as the hardest month of my life.
You already know, that I have lost my father due to cancer (on the 9th) and I have lost my uncle, also due to cancer exactly one week later (on the 16th). Needless to say, I am still having a tough time wth it, and I always will... However something else happened as well which I have yet to write about.
On Friday, the 28th, Matty Johnson, a student at my school in grade 12, 17 years old same age as me, died. I was friends with him to an extent. in school we wre friends... Especially last year, in drama... He was always a happy, fun kind of persn, and he brightened everyones day, and because of that, pretty much everyone that knew him, liked him... hich brings me to the one thing no one can understand because it is impossible to understand and there just is no answer (so we must stop trying to find one because we won't), it was suicide.
Before anyone asks, as I ave already established, no he was not gay and no he was not bullied or picked on at all. Actually it was quite the opposite: he was loved by all.
There have been councilers available for those who need them... and many, many students and teachers have been deeply effected by this, even one's who didn't know him because chances are they knew of him... so the hurt is school wide. Ms. Moyse, my math teacher loved Matty and se lost a boy for whom she truly cared deeply. She has always been there for me since day 1, she is a strong woman, who wears her heart on her sleeve. She talked to the class today and all, and well I can't go into any farter detail than that...
Ms. Heneghan, my english teacher has also been there for me from day 1, and is always checking on me and I thank god I havepeople like her and Ms. Moyse in my life. I know for a fact that she really does mean it when she says I can go to her if I need ANYTHING... she said the same thing to everyone in class today. One thing she said was that we should go to her, a guidence counciler, anyone (because it's important to open up and talk about whatever we may be feeling) and tell them "I need...". She continued to say "'I need...' Actually just that, just 'I need'. You won't even have to finish it because that in itself is a sentence that speaks greatly and you can then tal to them and they will help you find the eding to it".
Ms Heneghan then gave us a topic about which we will be writing on Thursday which is when e have our next English class. She based the idea on a quote which is "where words fail, music speaks". She continued to say that obviousy he meant music without words, but it applies to those with words as well, so we will e writing about one of our favorite sons and how we relate to the lyrics. It is a great oppurtunity to open up. "This is a PERSONAL reflection. I'm not testing you, there is no 'right' answer. You ca be as open as you want or as closed as you want. These will be read with great respect and understanding", and she continued to say how we were all bave etc. I noticed she kept looking at me who had eyes that were slightly brimmed with tears, we kept making eye contact, especially when she mentioned about how it must be really hard for sme of us because "some of you have already had your own losses other than this and have had them recently".
Ms. Starks, the art teacher and Ms. Gillis, my homeroom teacer have also been therefor me from day 1 the same way. I am so grateful to have amazing people like them.
I will end this by saying R.I.P Matty. You will always be loved and missed by many, rest easy.