Quick, brief update...

I don't post many REALLY personal things on this blog because I prefer to deal with certain things in a private, personal matter, and don't like the idea of broadcasting the full extent of my feelings and just what I am going through to everyone on the internet... because that's what family is for.

That's why I may SEEM almost emotion-less in some of the posts I write, and also why I haven't been writing much about my current situation.

Also it's a really hard subject to write about and I would rather not break down crying & bawling at my computer.

That being said, this post is just to give a quick update as to what is happening.

NOTE: I probably won't post anything about things my actual life/what I am doing for a pretty long while,but I will still post what I consider to be the bulk of my blog: random thoughts, art, and things I fin interesting and/or funny.

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On Wednesday I found out that the doctor said dad could and would survive the stroke, but he would never really recover.

Our options were:

Full time care- he would have someone to take care of him all the time, be in a weelchair, probably be fed through a tube, and he wouldn't be able to be at home, etc...

Comfort care- akmost the same, except he would be in the hospital (probably), with an IV and would be able to actually eat... and it would be more "comfortable"

Palliative care: He would be kept in the hospital, with all of his meds. Meds for pain, agitaion, etc, to make sure he isn't in too mch/any extreme pain and/or discomfort, and then just let "nature take it's course".

At the meeting mom, Dick and Marg had with the doctors, the decision was made to go with Palliative care.

As hard as it is, it is the best choice because he would not want to be alive like that, under the conditions of the other choices, plus (more imporantly) that isn't living, it's just existing. He wouldn't be able to really live, he would just exist.

Also, even if we were foolish enough to choose one of the other options, the cancer would have continued to get worse and would have taken over completely, and the battle would be over in 1.5-2 months at the very most.

Needless to sa this is the hardest thing I have experienced and the hardest thing I will ever experience... So I will obviously need time, so my posts will be there, but you may detect a certain "absence" in them.

I would like to end this post by taking not of how the truest way to detect the real value and measure of a man is by the people who love him, how much people love him, and the effect he had on others.

Many times in my life I hve noticed these things about my dad, and it seems that almost anyone who has met/known him- even in the smallest way- has absolutely cherished and loved him,his friendship, and everything about him, and so many people have been positively effected by him... The amount of people that have come to see him is phenominal... and that is nothing compared to the people who have been asking and been shocked, etc. Not nearly everyone even knows about the sudden turn things have taken because it happened so soon, we have only been able to tell so many.

He is/has always been the best dad anyone could ever imagine, as well as a kind-hearted and wonderful person in every way. It warms my heart to see that so many feel the same way.